Not an Exact Science

"Drawing a composite sketch is not an exact science.  Pouring wine back into the bottle is not an exact science."

Really?  No fooling?  Die.

First of all, drawing is not any kind of science.  It's not an exact one.  It's not a complete one.  It's not a red one.  It's not a fat one.  The only kind of science that drawing might be is "non."

Secondly, science isn't an exact science.  It's the process of refining inherently imprecise and inaccurate models so that, given some starting data, they will yield increasingly useful predictions.  There's nothing exact about it.  It's fraught with inexactitudes and is designed to take them in stride.

Ironically, doing something like drawing a composite sketch is probably, and pouring wine back into the bottle is definitely, a more exact process than science is.

Epic Fail

It was catchy and cute for a while, but let's put it to rest now. The other day I saw an EPC FAIL vanity license plate, clearly the fifth or perhaps sixth sign of the lexicon apocalypse.

In the Real World

"...in the Real World..."

As in "Well that's all very nice, academic theory, but in the Real World..."
or "Once I got out of college, and went into the Real World..."

Who are you? Neo, from The Matrix?  There is nothing except the real world.  Wake up! You're standing on my foot (in the virtual world).

Did Something Just Like

"Back in the 70's, we did something just like Agile."

Yep.  And during that same time, I did something just like college, only without the degree, or the freedom of choice, or the drinking, or the sex, or the cold and snow. (High School.)

There are tons of similar things, activities, and ideas in life.  But "did something just like" always feels like defensive self-certification. It also belittles the cohesiveness of the topic, or the difficulty in achieving or obtaining the thing, activity, or idea.

So, relax:  Not everyone can be an expert on everything. What are you exceptionally talented at? Let's talk about that.  I promise I'll try very hard not to say "Oh, yeah! I did something just like that last week!"

Bringing My A Game

See "I came here to win".

The implication is that attempting to win in a competition is the unusual case.  Do people bring their B games?  No one seems to say so, let alone their C, D, or F games.  It is the thing the athlete says when confronted by the microphone with no actual idea to impart.

Of late, this seems to be particularly egregious on cooking competitions a la "Chopped" on the Food Network.

Beyond X

People in the past few years have taken to using "beyond" as a superlative.  "That girl is beyond beautiful" to mean "extremely beautiful."  Beyond does not mean more-than.  It means on the other side of, or farther than.

Recently, on NPR of all places, a commentator described someone's politics as "beyond San Francisco" to mean "extremely liberal" (or, at least, more liberal than San Francisco).  I'm sorry, beyond San Francisco is the pacific ocean, not more San Francisco-ish-ness.

"Beyond" is a place in space, not an increase in intensity.  Since we have plenty of terms to describe the latter, let's not corrupt "beyond" into one of them.  It amazes me how frequently people want to remove the unique usefulness of a word.

Pushing the Envelope

An example of a phrase that is not only overused, but misused.

The term comes from aviation, specifically from test pilots seeking to describe taking a course of action that exceeds the known safe specification of the hardware.  It means to take a risk by pushing "the envelope of safe performance" which consists of altitude, speed, heat, acceleration, turning radius, and so forth.

In business-speak it means simply to "innovate".  Seems like that's the word that should be used, since it conveys the intended meaning.