Like Herding Cats

This clever phrase evokes dozens of cats being driven like "li'l doggies" across a wide pasture, down dusty trails, fording rivers while meowing low in collective bleat (with most of them straying to sniff things and suddenly lick themselves). And the message is clear. Even the slowest amongst us in the herd get what this phrase means.

But as with so many catch phrases, if it's halfway decent it immediately gets overused and shamelessly co-opted by the media and advertising. So pardners, it's high time to bring the li'l kitties home.

Let's come up with another simile for futile effort, which isn't easy these days. In fact it's like nailing jello to a wall.

Sort of

This has become the preferred "verbal seasoning" of those seeking to appear hip.   It is a completely empty phrase, no more informing than "um" or "ya' know".  Even my beloved Coen brothers are seriously afflicted with this affectation.  For an example:

http://thehollywoodinterview.blogspot.com/2008/02/coen-brothers-hollywood-interview.html

In one page, they use "sort of" 14 times.  In no case did it add any meaning whatsoever.  Remove it everywhere it appears, you have the same interview.

It's sort of annoying.

No-Brainer

This one is self-descriptive.

Like

The word like is not like intended as like a pause or like filler fired at like 4700 rounds per minute from the mouth like a HueyCobra door-mounted Gatling-style verbal minigun upon like a village of hapless scrambling listeners below.

"Like" is useful as an occasional preposition, adjective, conjunction, adverb, noun, or even as an interjection once in a blue moon.

Use as directed.

Going/Go Online

This one is not so much overused as it is misused and rather meaningless.  People generally do not "go online" anymore.  There was a time not so long ago when using the Internet required preparatory action: to dial-up a service provider, get some things done, and then to disconnect.   Many people used their voice lines for their Internet connection, and did not want to tie up the line for long periods of time.

Today, connections are pretty much constant, and rarely is a computer turned on but not connected to the Internet.  Add to this the prevalence of smartphones, iPads, blackberries and the like and it basically means that people do not go online anymore.

They are online.

Think Outside the Box

This phrase was modestly clever at best when it was coined about 12 years ago. It quickly became yet another hackneyed business-speak platitude to toss on the pile.

I say it's time to go back inside the box again.

Go Big or Go Home

Banned for extreme overuse, but also because it reflects the frat-boy, neo-con, all-or-nothing mentality that is ruining this country.  The speaker is essentially saying that winning "big" is the only point of competition, or "if at first you don't succeed, quit and get out of here, loser."

My mental response to this phrase is usually something like "I'll go with any size I choose and I'll go home when I'm damn good and ready.  Shut up, idiot."

Finally, this one bugs me because it is supposed to be demonstrating a totality of commitment, but instead indicates a complete absence of nuanced thought.  Such has not lead to good things in modern America.

I Came Here to Win

This little gem is often uttered by the participant in a contest who wishes to... state the obvious, I guess.

You came here to win?  As opposed to your opponents who came here to what?  Intentionally lose?  The implication seems to be that I came here to win, which is the unusual thing about me that qualifies me as most deserving of the prize.

The truth is, "I came here to win" is a totally empty phrase, uttered in the interview of a contestant who literally has nothing whatsoever to say about the contest.